The other day my cellmate presented a situation for my review. He explained that a particular person I regularly sat with in our housing unit’s day room had a bad reputation for some of his political and social beliefs. While I challenged his opinion on the matter, I realized that he was right after taking some time to reflect upon his statements. By sitting by and allowing offensive discussions to be held around me, I was contributing to the problem. By remaining quiet, I was not combating or showing my disapproval of the topic but providing my tacit approval for such offensive conversations. It’s this standing- or lack of standing- for principles, I’d like to touch on today.
As a prisoner, I am sometimes surrounded by some who aren’t of the best character. This isn’t to say that these are bad people — much like how I’m not a bad person — but that all of us in prison have the propensity to make stupid decisions and, most likely, have impulse control and conduct issues. But even with these inherent problems in the incarcerated population, there are good people in prison, people who walk right, are honorable, and are generally stand-up guys. Simply stated, with a little effort, worthwhile associates can be found.
Those inside prison need to do what they can to promote positive behaviors and dissuade negative ones. We do this through positive reinforcement (e.g., verbally agreeing, clapping, and associating with others) and negative actions of stigmatization (verbally disagreeing, leaving, and not associating with others). But in prison, the conversation often turns to the negative, or if not the negative, then those having the discussions tend to not be as decent as they could be. After all, we are all in prison for breaking societal norms and mores.
The point is that remaining quiet is not an honorable and dignified answer when wrongs are being committed. Doing nothing is not assertive merely because “nothing” is not supportive of the offensive conduct transpiring. Instead, as stand-up men and women, we must make our voices heard both when we agree with the interactions going on around us and when we disagree with them, too. Remaining silent when wrongs are being committed — or even discussed — shows not only those engaging in the wrongs that we agree with them, but it also shows those around us that we agree with the wrongdoers, even if we don’t. This is simply being guilty by association. If I associate with racist or sexist men or creeps in my housing unit’s day room, then others who don’t know me will assume that I’m a racist, sexist, or a creep. And this isn’t ok with me. I fancy myself a man of principles, and allowing such discussions and behavior to go on around me is not in line with that belief.
After my period of reflection, I returned to my cellmate. I informed him that he was, in fact, right. And I pledged not to allow such offensive discussions or activities to go on around me without my objection. It’s the least I can do to help improve the prison culture and those who associate with me. Plus, it’s in my best interest since others will see that I disagree with such offensive beliefs by objecting. I implore all others to do so, too. Merely because your workout group, lab partner, or colleague is voicing hateful or inappropriate thoughts, it doesn’t mean that you have to stand for it. By raising your voice, the culture of tolerance of offensive behaviors and beliefs will become much less tolerant of hatred and filth.
As always, I welcome your comments, suggestions, and thoughts. Continue the discussion by posting a comment below.
Published Oct 2, 2013 by Christopher Zoukis, JD, MBA | Last Updated by Christopher Zoukis, JD, MBA on Jul 15, 2023 at 10:28 pm